Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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