guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
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Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
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We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I am naked and annoyed.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
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