She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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