She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
