Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
