finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
