so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
