Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
