Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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