sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize