Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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