while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
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I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
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I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize