I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize