Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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