no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
