If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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