The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.