Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?