3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.