oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
