turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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