I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
