Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
