we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.