Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.

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  (847): Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part. http://tfl.nu/ui2p
  Replies (15) Good night (599) Bad night (1334)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks

  (917): View more from New York City

  this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed

  (917): View more from New York City

  he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?

  (718): View more from New York

  messed up. what color are the wings?

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  (917): last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks (917): this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed (917): he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF? (718): messed up. what color are the wings? http://tfl.nu/7ui0
  Replies (11) Good night (2282) Bad night (642)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.

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  (903): I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion. http://tfl.nu/pxq1
  Replies (15) Good night (757) Bad night (1982)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes

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  (541): He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes http://tfl.nu/g6v6
  Replies (19) Good night (684) Bad night (3599)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking

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  (843): Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking http://tfl.nu/l9zh
  Replies (14) Good night (4524) Bad night (1040)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.

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  (414): no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good. http://tfl.nu/zhbu
  Replies (23) Good night (5784) Bad night (1192)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever

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  (330): fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever http://tfl.nu/itin
  Replies (11) Good night (5098) Bad night (1158)
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  (714): View more from California

  I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.

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  (714): I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor. http://tfl.nu/i3nt
  Replies (5) Good night (1027) Bad night (3425)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.

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  (503): I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend. http://tfl.nu/inq1
  Replies (32) Good night (942) Bad night (3148)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.

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  (440): I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me. http://tfl.nu/i18g
  Replies (8) Good night (417) Bad night (990)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?

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  (717): there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right? http://tfl.nu/jd9g
  Replies (2) Good night (811) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just want to like rub my face on his abs

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need help

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  (610): I just want to like rub my face on his abs (610): I need help http://tfl.nu/fsti
  Replies (2) Good night (934) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling

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  (412): Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling http://tfl.nu/2zhp
  Replies (0) Good night (512) Bad night (267)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside

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  (402): I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside http://tfl.nu/9ftj
  Replies (4) Good night (439) Bad night (195)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing

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  (310): He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing http://tfl.nu/pfhu
  Replies (0) Good night (275) Bad night (408)

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