Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Yes give me all the cream and he's gone

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  (919): Yes give me all the cream and he's gone http://tfl.nu/m4vo
  Replies (2) Good night (960) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.

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  (212): I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants. http://tfl.nu/n3gu
  Replies (50) Good night (5808) Bad night (1525)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.

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  (703): She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything. http://tfl.nu/cutc
  Replies (18) Good night (1059) Bad night (3446)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.

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  (615): my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap. http://tfl.nu/2c94
  Replies (27) Good night (4279) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.

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  (662): We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety. http://tfl.nu/psgs
  Replies (14) Good night (4564) Bad night (851)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.

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  (516): you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito. http://tfl.nu/qluq
  Replies (8) Good night (3245) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.

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  (707): Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car. http://tfl.nu/kt4h
  Replies (13) Good night (4435) Bad night (2437)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.

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  (832): My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster. http://tfl.nu/nbxn
  Replies (9) Good night (829) Bad night (3271)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.

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  (812): I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me. http://tfl.nu/jath
  Replies (6) Good night (3124) Bad night (812)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.

  (334): View more from Alabama

  I stand by my new policy.

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  (334): I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots. (334): I stand by my new policy. http://tfl.nu/bu7l
  Replies (4) Good night (1338) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.

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  (330): OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM. http://tfl.nu/cuq6
  Replies (15) Good night (2633) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!

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  (478): Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink! http://tfl.nu/6ksq
  Replies (10) Good night (983) Bad night (880)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?

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  (320): How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...? http://tfl.nu/7ruq
  Replies (8) Good night (872) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (276): View more from Virginia

  Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.

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  (276): Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well. http://tfl.nu/93p0
  Replies (5) Good night (582) Bad night (222)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football

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  (847): But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football http://tfl.nu/c4fc
  Replies (6) Good night (724) Bad night (281)

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