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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.

  Fav 29 9397 2353

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• (925): View more from California

  Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  All im saying is that my face might fall off.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?

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