im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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