apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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