when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
