Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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