How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
