Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
