u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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