You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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