After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
