Ambien. No doubt about it.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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