Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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