Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
