Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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