Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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