I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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