yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
