Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
