Can Purell be used as lube?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Shame - the story of my life.
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