I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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