You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
