Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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