if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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