If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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