Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
