I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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