I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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