I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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