Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
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I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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