zippers are such a cool invention
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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