I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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