ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
