I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize