You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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