We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
