You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
