So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Vodka?
Forever.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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